WANTED Posters in Williamsburg

Last night, as I was walking down N. 6th St. in Williamsburg, I noticed a woman veiled in the shadows cast by a scaffold at the corner of Wythe. Though I could not discern her features, it was clear her gaze was fixed nervously upon a sign stapled to the plywood boards that enclosed the construction site before her. It was a sudden, eerie moment, the kind that reminds the late night wanderer he has taken a wrong turn on a dark street, and wound up isolated and vulnerable.

Drawing closer, I was able to make out the cause of her concern. In bold, intimidating letters boomed the headline "WANTED" above a drawing on the fugitive to fear.

Perhaps it was only now that the woman heard my approaching footsteps, for she suddenly turned to look over her shoulder at me before scurrying off down Wythe.

I continued toward the sign, compelled now to discover what menace could be so terrifying to our neighborhood that the police bothered to plaster his mugshot even in an unsavory alcove. Was this where the monster lurked? Finally, the fine print came into focus and I learned what had drawn me into harm's way:


An ad! And for a video game, no less. The latest installment in the enormously popular Grand Theft Auto series, in which the player takes on the role of a psychopathic criminal with the goal of unleashing as much mayhem as possible upon his city.

Sound uplifting? According to the WANTED poster issued by the "City of Liberty", the game's protagonist is of Eastern European descent and "wanted for questioning in connection with a shooting at a nightclub in the Hove Beach area of Broker". In line with the type of justice the game advocates, the poster advises that the criminal - who you embody - be shot on sight.

As it so happens, I am teaching advertising for the first time this semester, and so from a professional standpoint I can understand the savvy of an ad like this one. But at what point does a guerilla marketing campaign go too far? Surely, terrorizing the public has to be that bar.

Part of creating an effective ad entails zeroing in on the demographic you want to win for your customers. What type of person is Grand Theft Auto trying to appeal to with fake Wanted posters plastered in the darkest corners of our City? Probably not the type of person you would want to meet if you ended up lured to one of its posters alone at night.

Voter Registration Deadline is January 11th!

If you're like me and recently moved, you need to act fast to change your voter registration if you intend to vote in New York's primary election on February 5th.

New York's voter registration deadline is JANUARY 11th, 2008.

This deadline applies to all first-time voters, voters who have changed their addresses since the last time they voted, and voters who have legally changed their names. Women, if you have recently been married and taken your spouse's name, please note that you must change your voter registration by this deadline.

You can download the form to change your registration as a .pdf file here at the NYC Board of Elections' website. Free postage is included with the form. All you have to do is staple or tape together the two sheets into an envelope an drop it in the mail. (Note: It says not to staple or tape the form, but I confirmed with the Board of Elections that these instructions do not apply to the online form.)

You can also register in person at the borough office of the Board of Elections, which is on the 4th Floor of 345 Adams Street in downtown Brooklyn.

If you have any questions at all about voting, call 212-VOTE-NYC (212-868-3692).

In order to be eligible to vote, you must be an American citizen, have lived in NYC for at least 30 days, and be at least 18 by February 5th.

Everyone, don't miss out on your chance to vote, or worse, vote illegally like Ann Coulter did in Florida.

The fact that this is a VERY IMPORTANT election goes without say, but it is especially important for New York City primary voters. Usually by the time the primary roles around to New York, both the Democratic and Republican candidates have long been a foregone conclusion and we get the pleasure of rubber-stamping the earlier states' choices. But this year, with both nominations locked in dead heats and New York's primary bumped up to February 5th, for the first time in my lifetime, at least, the votes of New Yorkers will actually play an essential part in determining who will be the two candidates for President.

Please, please, please play your part in the democratic process that, despite the calamities of the last seven years, is still the cornerstone of our lives as Americans. You can still make a difference! Let us not forget the lessons of Florida in 2000 and Ohio in 2004.

Hey, The Optimist is very optimistic about 2008 and his top ten reasons for being so this year all have to do with the fact that Bush will be out of office.

At least, I think he'll be.

Brooklyn Cat Lovers: DON'T PANIC!

The Optimist and his girlfriend share a love of animals and nature. Fortunately, our new second-floor apartment overlooks an overgrown yard and one of the rare evergreen trees in Greenpoint, so there is always a lot of wildlife to observe.

This morning, in defiance of the pigeon haters in the City Council, we hung a bird feeder on the fire escape outside our window, hoping to entice the cardinals, finches, squirrels, and even the much-maligned pigeons to stop by our ledge. A few hours later, my girlfriend peered out the glass to see if we had attracted any visitors and instantly called my attention to the view. A couple yards beyond the reach of our window, perched two and a half stories up in a leafless tree, was a cat.

Just a few hours earlier, I had seen the same cat walking a tightrope of electrical cables spanning our yard into the next and marveled at his audacity. Now, we watched the cat as he scaled the narrow trunk, balancing boldly on razor-thin branches, climbing higher and higher.

And then stop.

Stop for a very long time.

As the hours passed, it became clear that he was stuck. My girlfriend and I tried to plot mental maps of how he could descend on his own, but they all looked too dangerous. The kittie seemed to agree.

Nor could we devise any way of helping him. No ladder we could get would be tall enough and he was well beyond our reach. Our own house cats joined us at the window, gawking at their comrade. I wondered if they envied his freedom or if they were ogling like race car fans waiting for a wreck.

When evening started to set in, we decided that it was time to act. The cat had had ample chance to come down on his own. Soon it would be cold and dark.

But what to do? Call the fire department? Do firefighters really rescue cats from trees or was that some myth of Americana? In the end, we decided to call 311.

Thank Bloomberg for 311. It's really an ingenious service. I've solved so many problems with its help. But not this one.

As I now know, Animal Care and Control is the City organization responsible for cats getting out of trees. FYI, they're closed on New Year's.

I asked to be transferred to our local firehouse. Well, maybe firefighters will still get Snookums down from the tree for you in Nebraska, but apparently not in Brooklyn. The Bravest suggested I wait until AC&C opened at 8 the next morning for assistance.

Yeah, tell that to the cat hanging out my window. "Don't worry, fella. Help will be on the way in 14-16 hours."

Then how did the drama end? Since the WGA is on strike, a Hollywood ending was out. Instead, the cat opted to improvise. As I was about to hang up with the fire department, the cat suddenly inverted and made a deft dash down the tree. After three cliffhanging hours in his perch, he reached the ground in an instant and promptly disappeared. I can only hope Jon Stewart does as well without writers.

This being New Year's, I found myself inclined to draw some lesson of great philosophic significance from the ordeal, but after extensive head-scratching nothing particularly deep came to mind. Then I remembered the sage advice of one of the most remarkable of all books ever to come out of the great publishing corporations of Ursa Minor - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Printed in large friendly letters on the book's cover are the words DON'T PANIC.

That stuck me as suitably deep.

Really, it's true. It's indisputably the best course of action in all crisis situations. Short of the right solution, I suppose.

Here's another apt aphorism that's pretty foolproof (on Earth, at least): What goes up, must come down. Even cats.

So, DON'T PANIC, Cat Lovers! Fluffy will be down on his own by dinnertime.

2008: Brooklyn's Best Year Yet

Happy New Year, Brooklyn! May this year be our borough's happiest and most prosperous year yet. Working together with our neighbors, we can exceed even our most ambitions aspirations. I believe in Brooklyn!

The Brooklyn Optimist is Now Online!

This is the inaugural post for The Brooklyn Optimist! The Brooklyn Optimist is an online newspaper created by filmmaker and professor Morgan Pehme to focus on all things Brooklyn through the discerning lens of its most optimistic community journalist and citizen.

Please bear with me as I get a handle on the technological side of blogging. Once I'm up to speed, I'll be contributing regular articles on Brooklyn politics, the environment, arts and entertainment, local businesses, restaurants, and community activism.

I'm looking forward to exploring Brooklyn with you!