The Brooklyn Optimist's In-Depth Analysis of Today's Mets Game

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Die, Marlins! Die. Die. Die.

Why, Mets? Why?

There's always next year. - The Mets Fans' Mantra

Brooklyn Optimist Wins Election in a Landslide!

Last week, the Brooklyn Optimist reported in passing the humorous circumstances under which he discovered he had won the Primary to represent his neck of the woods in Greenpoint as its newest Kings County Democratic County Committee Member.

Well, now the outcome is official! The New York City Board of Elections website has certified the results of the September 9th Primary and the numbers are staggering. The Optimist (a.k.a. Morgan Pehme) scored a landslide win over his opponent, Carmine Galeotifiore, taking a whopping 75% of the vote in the local race.

I know, I know. Percentages are impressive. Especially considering that the total vote count was 12-4 in my favor. It kind of reminds me of the final score in a Mets game, in which the team's bullpen has been called upon to save a 4-3 lead.

But, a win is a win and I'm not complaining. Thanks so much to everyone who took the time to vote for me. I sincerely appreciate your support. I won't let you down over my next two years in office. No graft or sex scandals, I promise.

Congratulations to all my intrepid friends who also pulled out big wins on Primary Day, like my neighbor James Zika - who won by a single vote despite his excellent campaign - Alex Low, Chris Henderson, and Bushwick City Council hopeful Esteban Duran.

My sympathies to all of my friends who came up short. I know you'll rebound in 2010!

The Mets Go To War

As a lifelong Mets fan, I could wax on endlessly about the wonders of the Amazins.

But this piece is about a quarrel I have had with my team of late. And I'm not talking about their 14-12 record. That, ya gotta believe, will pass.

My problem is with the Mets TV network's new subway ad campaign. In case you haven't noticed it, the series of ads feature action shots of one of the team's stars accompanied by fighting words: Jose Reyes slides into a bag above the caption "Bases, Reloaded"; David Wright swings to the slogan "Not-So-Secret Secret Weapon"; and new ace hurler Johan Santana's headline threatens "Armed and Ready".

I fully admit that I might very well be blowing my concerns out of proportion, but after passing these ads for a couple weeks, I've come to the conclusion that the campaign's rhetoric is uncalled for, if not flat out inappropriate. After five bloody years lost to quagmires in Iraq and Afghanistan, it seems to me in poor taste to rile up Mets fans with military-inspired wordplay.

Gone is the tender amiability of "Meet the Mets", the audacious hope of "The Magic is Back", even the fatalistic gravity of "The Team. The Time. The Mets." and "Your Season Has Come". Instead, the Mets holster up this season with an arsenal of aggression aimed oratorically at gunning down their adversaries. Replace Wright and Santana with photos of Ted Nugent and Charlton Heston and you've got perfect publicity for the N.R.A.

Many of you may be confounded, if not appalled, by this conclusion, but as someone who teaches advertising copywriting I understand the potent craft behind headlines and how they are carefully composed to provoke the public. I am not inferring that the Mets have deliberately unleashed a barrage of stealth pro-war propaganda. I understand that the hostility of the campaign's tone was likely conceived to combat the stinging memory of the team's ignominious collapse last season. Nonetheless, words carry great influence, especially with children. The terminology we employ to describe something inevitably plays a part in defining its nature. To some degree, this ad campaign glorifies baseball as a shootout and the Mets as soldiers. For many this might mean nothing, but to me I'd rather keep blood lust out of the ballpark.

I am reminded of George Carlin's classic stand-up bit about the differences between baseball and football. In sum, Carlin characterizes the language of baseball as portraying a genteel game of beauty, while football's delineates a brutal battle to annihilate. Those who feel passionately like I do about baseball know that the sport is far from as innocuous as Carlin jokes, but we also know that what makes baseball special is its humanity. The heroes of baseball aren't famed for meting out the most concussions or firing slap shots past hapless defenders. They are idolized for immortalizing our childhood dreams in a world so otherwise ruthlessly determined to crush them.

America's pastime isn't war. When I go to Shea, I ask nothing more for my price of admission than a few hours of peace. That 50,000 New Yorkers can find this tranquility together 81 times a year is the true miracle of the Mets.

Air America WWRL 1600 Suddenly in Shambles

What is going on at Air America?

First, Richard Bey leaves the morning show. OK, no biggie.

Then all of a sudden last week, the progressive radio station's New York City affiliate WWRL 1600 inexplicably drops their best host Thom Hartmann from the station (his Friday brunch with Senator Bernie Sanders was reason enough to tune in), as well as The Lionel Show, just when I had finally come around to listening to the latter.

For what superior programming did WWRL bump Thom and Lionel? A daily two-hour infomercial, faux left wing host Ed Schultz, and none other than Al Sharpton.

Just as my ears were still ringing from WWRL's abrupt overhaul, Raw Story announced today that Randi Rhodes has quit Air America in the wake of her temporary suspension for calling Hillary Clinton by an inappropriate epithet (mind you, not on the air). As a longtime listener, I fully admit that Randi can be irksomely repetitive at times, but her audience benefits greatly every day from the depth of her knowledge and insistence upon fact over the Administration's pervasive fictions. New Yorkers are worse off without her.

I expected more from Air America's President Mark Green, but apparently he is determined to run his family's station as competently as his failed bid for Mayor in 2000.

I haven't looked at how these changes have effected WWRL's ratings, but I know for certain the station has lost one loyal listener from Brooklyn. The Optimist will miss left-wing talk, but at least the Mets have 155 more games this season for their fans to listen to and enjoy.

Pitchers and Catchers Hurl Away the Winter Blues

Will all the election hubbub, I've scarcely had time to give my beloved sport of baseball its due. Yesterday, America's pastime was once more dragged through the muck, but today the promise of spring again warms the wintry hearts of its devoted fans.

This morning pitchers and catchers report to camp!

And though last season was outrageously, mind-boggling depressing even for us die-hard Mets fans, who long ago learned to accept misery, hope always returns in time for Opening Day.

This year, at least, I'll know what to call that hope: Johan Santana.